nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
