She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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