I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
