haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she pinky promised me she was 18
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
