she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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