I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We are all done wearing pants today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
