Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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