New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
