So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
