Don't you send me to vm
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
