I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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