you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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