um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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