shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
