I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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