Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
