I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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