you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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