I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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