the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Still dying that you shit outside
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize