she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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