This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
