"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I could fuck to npr.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
