Pappa wants mamma naked
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize