I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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