giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
God, I missed his penis.
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