in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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