apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
be right there i have to get my cape
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
