You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
