everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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