Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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