It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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