Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
