I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
