I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
