...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
