I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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