I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
