you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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