Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize