you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
