i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize