C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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