She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
