spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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