That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
