I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
