There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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