Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize