You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
