i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Success! We fucked roommates!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize