thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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