On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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