I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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