Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
bring money and cleavage
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
